(request for the military training)
Who chops?
Sultan
This is me ...
Galliley ...
Wait a minute ...
Cuckoo, guys!
Have you got the order?
Sit down in the sidecar.
Herman Ivanovich!
Crocodilych!
Sit down, sit down ...
PARADE OF PLANETS
Hello comrades!
Good morning, Comrade Senior Lieutenant!
I don't hear you all ...
Hello comrades!
Good morning, Comrade Senior Lieutenant!
At ease!
Private Slavunov, fasten your shirt!
And stay straight ...
Yes Sir!
And you, the same ...
Stand up, "At ease" - it does not mean intentionally limply!
Yes Sir!
In the near future, our platoon will participate in the all-army exercises,
Check the uniforms, weapons, tools, materiel.
Be ready.
Your platoon will be part of the vanguard.
Up to Golovinskiy forest march in the column.
Further, take one of the guns
and start hidden maneuver to deepen into the back areas of the "southerns" ...
Avoid open spaces. Clear?
18th at 6:00 AM you have to arrive at the enemy possible river crossing.
Set the gun for the direct fire.
And destroy the pontoon crossing.
by the measure divert the enemy from the direction of our main attack.
Further, in case of success, retreat to the village Gus'kovo.
Found it on the map?
Gus'kovo ... clear.
Questions?
Questions asked!
I have a question for you, lieutenant.
We made bet on it. It's you, or do not you?
In what sense?
You were here the year before.
So for sure!
Well - as I said ...
Only you had a beard? Yes?
So for sure!
Correct.
this year you lost your beard ...
You're a physicist or who?
It seems so.
And you remember me?
Yes, I remember. I am allowed to go?
Go!
That's a creek!
Used to be a creak ...
Remember, we jumped over it?
exactly!
Now it's swollen!
Swollen. Rains!
So, what do we are going to do?
Can we cross it?
Where is our driver? Bring him here!
Hey driver ... your name?
Afonin! Come here ...
Well!
Seems not so deep ... And close to you?
Deep ... up to my neck.
All right! Carbine!
Kustanaj!
Wait, I will come.
Don't do this.
German, I need to help them! Please!
Come on. All hands!
To the right.
Sultan! Look, in the fir-tree direction. You see?
Yes, I see!
That's it.
It isn't deep here.
Hey, driver - don't be afraid - it's not your trolleybus - go ahead!
Go ahead, I tell you!
Be easy with him. He's our elite - a local deputy.
I am here, guys!
Come on, turn it left!
Well done!
Have you had the service together?
Yes, together.
I see, you had a cheerful company.
Something wrong, Afonin?
Not at all, why ...
Carbine!
Kustanaj!
Why you are walking all time - looking at the sky?
I am checking the posts.
Stop to eat and go to replace our architect.
Okay.
Well, what's in the sky, Crocodilych?
Herman said - a parade of the planets should be there. But I see nothing!
You cannot see it with naked eye.
Only he can in his telescope.
I understand.
Well? Can we pull out the gun tomorrow?
The gun? Why not, we have a tractor.
Look, look! Afonin!
Get down!
Heave ho!
Tanks!
To the gun! Target - the tank!
Direct fire.
- ready. - fire!
Aim to the head vehicle! Fire!
Tanks!
Fire!
This is done.
Tanks on the right. Fire!
And this.
Hey, you. Are you crazy?
He is mad!
Hear, now we will swim the river and will neat you face ...
Oh!
Squad! Attention!
Comrade general, the second platoon of the third battery of the seventeenth Regiment,
platoon commander Lieutenant Kostin.
Hello, comrades!
Good morning, Comrade General!
At ease!
Arrived at estimated time came to a place of crossing,
and thwarted construction of the pontoon bridge.
knocked out three tanks and destroyed several pontoons.
The civilian rocked the old days!
In general - we are a peaceful people, but we are ready to repel the enemy ...
Correct?
So for sure! Comrade General.
Surname?
Pukhov. Sergeant Pukhov.
The sergeant is ready for the real combat.
Yes, I am!
Well comrades, the command renders thanks to you ...
Go back to the camp, and that's all - go home.
Thank you for the service!
Serve the Soviet Union!
Why go home? What does it mean?
It is easy to understand, my dear. That we are no longer in the world.
That's all. The war ended.
Comrade Captain, let me ask a question, I don't understand ...
After the withdrawal of the enemy from the shore your position was hit by a missile strike.
Where the rocket launcher was?
Over there, Lieutenant - there was a rocket launcher.
Comrade Captain ...
So what? Mission is accomplished, what else?
Wait ...
Here is nothing to wait for you ... You are gone, not seen and not heard now. You died a heroic death. Thank you for the service!
Good! Come on, come on ...
Hi guys! You are gone too?
In our regiment arrived! Another six dead!
Hooray! In our regiment arrived! Another six dead!
Hooray!
Have a smoke?
On the shore - swim!
Someone from the rubber factory?
No.
Maybe from the construction plant?
We have one. Crocodilych, swim here!
Pukhov!
Who? You? Oh!
Great! Why are you Crocodilych?
And you, you are accidentally Sultan? The butcher from the third shop?
I was a butcher, I was ...
And now?
And now I'm a spirit!
We are in the other world!
Guys, we have a day to wait. Today's train is already gone. Tomorrow's will be tomorrow.
What?
Quite so!
Bizzare! We finished our war too early ...
This captain. Damn him! And where he got this goddamn rocket launcher?
And why we didn't know anything? We could shelter somewhere.
Alas, no way to shelter from the rocket ...
What is it coming out? They knew beforehand. And we were sacrificed!
Thanks it wasn't a real rocket.
No difference - real or not real ...
You aren't right here.
And what? Zap! - and you are done! Do we have to lose something?
Life, buddy! Life! Got it?
You are living forty years, and what the life is - you just don't know.
Sure, I know! The harem in the meat department!
So, it should be! After all, He is a sultan!
Common! All women... Only five minutes of pleasure...
Here you're wrong.
I'm speaking about other matter ...
Where is Gus'kovo? Where is it? About what is all the buzz! Gus'kovo, Gus'kovo ...
Gus'kovo is gone.
Ruslan!
Quiet!
Sultan!
Herman!
Quiet!
Well. Thank God!
Where are you dragging us to? I don't understand it. I have to go home, I have a job.
Where? We had an order - "retreat to Gus'kovo".
So what? Do we continue!?
Sure, I don't mind!
Miracles! What kind of dream? Have we came back!?
Long time we didn't see you ...
Where are you from, comrades?
Hi!
Hi.
Hello!
Hello.
It's no a good idea to leave the friends. We even had to hitchhike.
You, in general, going where?
Nice. Decided to get rid of us. Well! We can travel on our own.
And we thought - the hell with it - no one knows where are you, no one will wait, no one will call you. Real vacation - for a whole week ...
What's going up? Where are we? What is the name of the city?
Look, look!
And which way did you get here, boy?
You got that? Textile town, or what?
Hey, Boy?
Let's get acquainted. We actually are military men. Pay no attention on the plainclothes - you know - it is our assignment.
And more, we were hit by a rocket. So, it looks like we don't exist ...
It happens?
Sure!
And finally, what is your name?
I have no name. I am a ghost. I tell your the truth - we are from the other world, the ghosts.
Listen - you're pretty. How old are you? Please, don't lie to me - I have heard this every time!
Twenty-six.
Divorced?
Yes.
Your husband was drinking?
How do you know?
I myself did. My wife left me - she found a non-drinker.
He will show her a good life!
You dance strange ...
Yes, I've never danced!
Can you quit to drink?
I already gave up!
Two months - not even a single drop.
No medicine. Only willpower.
Listen - marry me!
Right now !?
You're rude!
Rude!? But you need tender?
Yes ... tender.
A Gus'kovo - what is this?
The village - down the river.
I really like you. You're very good.
You're beautiful.
Somebody told you this before?
You see - I am the first!
That's better!
You dance well!
I learned it.
Where?
In the city club. We had a workshop.
You can say - I danced all my adolescence! I won prizes.
Really!?
You see - now all dancing just stomping... But it is necessary to turn!
Do you want? Lets go - I will teach you.
Where to?
We can easy find a place for it.
Oh, you are a swift, dancer!
Why waste time?
Whew!
Once again, with the rotation!
Back to me!
Wait!
And again!
And where is our driver?
Vasily! What is his name? Vasily Sergeyevich!
Vasya!
So what? Where are you?
Here. Come here!
Wait.
What you want, my good?
I'm going with you.
Where you will go with me? For what?
There's nothing.
I will drown because of you!
No, you won't. Come on, swim home!
Carbine!
Kustanaj!
Do you know how I swam here? I actually don't know how to swim.
What are you doing? And where are our things?
Where they are? What's the trick?
Yes, here are your clothes, don't cry!
One shoe, ... second. And where are my socks?
The keys from my pocket fell out. How I'll get home?
And I have no keys! And no money, by the way ...
No, the money is safe ... Sorry. But no shirt - that's what!
Where is the boatman?
We have no way to go further.
Really!?
I don't know. I didn't negotiate with him.
Is this an island or what?
Who the hell knows!
Are you out of your mind? Why you let him go?
Well, here we are.
What!? What are you are doing? Herman Ivanovich!
What?
It's your idea to bring us here?
Well then explain! I was, can say, torn away from the women ...
Herman Ivanovich! I also don't understand - what we are doing here?
What is the problem? We have a fire. We are going to dry, to eat ...
And the women - you will have them at home!
And everything other you wish!
Women, keys, money - all the things are over there. We had such agreement - if you don't like it - swim back!
Well, what we have? It is all right?
Wait a second! Dispose yourself.
We still have to know - is it an isle of it or what?
Why do you have to know?
Which way we can return back?
We will ride a log!
Listen - sit quietly and most important - don't ask the questions.
We also agreed on this ...
I see - you have built a conspiracy here!
Hey folks, we have an interesting company!
You may be cheat me in your meat shop. And you, for good, will take off my jacket in the dark alley.
Who? Me? - It doesn't matter, but you ...
Listen, I never had so bizarre friends as your!
I am sorry for you!
Friendship require a lot of efforts.
Me, I can say that I have a lot of friends.
On my birthdays - full apartment - no place to seat them!
Really? All hucksters?
Not only. Traders are people too.
And I have, by the way, the doctors ...
My doctor friends. One is docent - at ear-throat-nose.
His wife work in philharmonic.
And you steal them the meat, steaks ...
Oh, I give them my friendship!
And the meat, too. Correct?
I don't like your guys. Hog all the world these your uho-gorlo-noses!
Why we have so much queues? From the fact that some can pass the queue!
Really?
And you friends feed, treat each other ...
Why do we have so much of jealous people? By the way - my wife is the same.
When I will be back, she will ask - how you spent your time?
I have to respond - "bad." Then she will be a good, kind.
If you say "good" - she will explode with envy!
Exactly!
Same for me - since my first army service I had a very close friend, I can say - soul mate.
We had started to work at the factory together. Well, after - I got married, he married ...
He had a kid, I had two. And after - all went in ruins!
If one wife don't like other - your friendship will gone.
And my dear friend is dead, guys ...
From vodka.
Do you believe me - He was a heavy drinker ...
But finally he gave up - and it's all.
Died ...
He was buried this spring.
But me, I'm afraid my wife.
I can swear - I'm just afraid - that's all.
She doesn't menace me, ... no.
Never said a bad word.
Just kills me by her sentiment.
Do you know how?
Just stays mute all time.
And you're already nervous, starting to think - what you have done wrong.
You start to think ...
This way by silence she depressing me.
Really.
Unbelievable! You are not the kind of the person to be "depressed".
No, my wife is quite talkative ...
If she opens her mouth - no way to stop her ...
What! Your wife?
Yes, my wife!
Could you imagine - I did it! All my life I believed - I cannot swim. And here I just forgot it and swam... Miracles!
No, guys, we have to meet again in the city. Agreed?
And when?
Would we have time for this?
We have proposed the same our last service. But in two years after - not even a single time...
Here we are all together and go - no one knows where ...
Cool down. This is the last time.
Why the last?
And because they won't call us more for the training ... - we are too old.
The years!
Hey, friend ...
Hi!
Hi.
Please, come here.
The tent, is it yours?
It's mine.
And the boat?
Also mine.
Don't sell?
What?
The boat!
Do you have buyers?
Of course.
Oh - I would love to, but it isn't mine - from the tourist center.
Understood.
And what are you? Physicist?
Why physicist?
Look like!
I'm not a physicist - I am chemist.
What!? Seriously chemist? Really!?
And where do you do you chemistry?
In the gas station? In the shop?
Why in the shop?
But where?
I am really chemist - an organic chemist.
I even have PhD.
I'm on vacation.
So, comrade PhD, we are military men - even not in the uniform ...
We have a special assignment of strategic importance. We need to escape from the island.
What do we do?
I don't know.
Take him as prisoner, that is. Together with the boat.
Agreed, Comrade Senior Lieutenant?
Or maybe you surrender voluntarily?
Which way is better for you?
Hi!
Hello!
Hello, hello ...
Fyodor! Fyodor come here. Natalia Sergeevna - look!
My son Fyodor arrived with his friends!
Excuse me ...
Fyodor, dear! Finally! Where have you been for so long - I'm waiting for you!
Excuse me mother, you probably ...
Fyodor!
Hello!
Come here, comrades! I am waiting for you ...
Come quickly! I beg you!
So ...
Comrades, stop! Here is some mistake.
What !?
Actually, we are from the tourist center, we are the tourists ...
We just walked here. Are you waiting for someone?
How? Tourists !?
And you aren't repairmen from the office?
I am sorry ...
Wow!
And where are these? Repairers?
Well, well ... Please, eat!
We have guests in our retirement house not very often ...
I would say - rarely ...
As a wander.
Go. They are waiting for you!
Fyodor!
Fyodor, dear.
Tell her that you are her son. She will forget everything tomorrow. I am a doctor myself and I know ...
Do not be afraid to tell her.
Yes. Mother.
Mamma.
I'm here!
I'm here. Can you see me?
Of course!
Come on!
Away from the road the chicken feet!
And then, you were taken away by the lake Ladoga.
I was at work, this time, in the hospital.
When I came back - I couldn't find neither you nor Marina ...
And I searched your in orphanages... and then, when we broke the blockade - and I started to look everywhere ...
Asked every agency ...
But they said to me - at this age they could forget their names.
But all documents were lost. They told me - look by the special signs.
May be they are somewhere alive. Grown up probably ...
Maybe they had some birthmarks?
No, I say, unfortunately - no.
But you see - I immediately recognized your face!
You resemble your father.
Yes, yes ...
Why your don't drink?
The tea is fresh, delicious. And we have cheesecakes today.
Yes come in!
And It's you, Natalia Sergeevna!
My dear, later ...
My son is visiting me.
Yes. All right.
Well, tell me! I know nothing about you.
Are you married?
Yes, Mom.
Have children?
I have a son - thirteen years.
Have you his photo?
It's a pity.
And your wife?
She works.
We met at the college.
I choose astronomy, but she went to teach in the school.
Well, tell me more!
I want to know everything about you!
What kind are you?
Cheerful?
No, probably ...
And not talkative. Why?
I don't know ... I have nothing to talk about.
Why nothing to talk about !?
Everything was talked.
Everything known.
I'm tired of words.
Do you have close friends?
No.
But may be yes - these people with whom I came here.
You are kind?
No, I would not say so ...
And why you have chosen astronomy? Is this a childhood dream?
I was a good student ...
And all good students dreamed to be astronomers.
Discover new stars.
But all stars have already been discovered ...
Really?
It isn't true.
Nevertheless.
And what do you do?
I live. I work.
I don't like this, Fyodor ...
You have to be joyful.
It seems to me - it's something that you lack.
Your father and me were very gay.
You have to remember that life is beautiful.
I will try.
Anna Vasiliyevna, now we let our guest go.
Fyodor, dear! They are waiting for you.
You mom now will lie to sleep. And you will come tomorrow ...
Go, Fyodor, go ...
There, you bed. Go and return tomorrow morning.
I just said to them about the parade of planets. You see, this is something!
I didn't mess up anything? Right? But we cannot see a damn thing! He has a pair of binoculars ...
Well, dad, can you see it or not?
All right. Let them look!
Today all the planets will line up in a row, once in a thousand years.
Carbine!
Kustanaj!
Carbine!
Carbine.
Kustanaj.